Sunday, April 20, 2003

Walk 62 -- Rochford to Burnham-on-Crouch

Ages: Colin was 60 years and 347 days. Rosemary was 58 years and 124 days.
Weather: Fine and sunny, but the bitterly cold wind was still with us.
Location: Rochford to Burnham-on-Crouch.
Distance: 11½miles (including the ferry which had been suspended).
Total distance: 415½ miles.
Terrain: Almost entirely grass river banks again.
Tide: Coming in.
Rivers to cross: No.17, the River Crouch at Burnham-on-Sea.
Ferries: No.3 across the Crouch to Burnham-on-Sea, except that it was no longer running as from the beginning of 2003! To save ourselves nigh on 30 miles of extra walking, we decided to change the rules and count it as if we had travelled on it.
Piers: None.
Kissing gates: Nos.63 and 64 at the beginning of the walk, nos.65 and 66 at Paglesham Eastend and no. 67 at Paglesham Churchend.
Pubs: None, because the ‘real ale’ pub at Paglesham Churchend was shut at 4 o’clock on this Easter Sunday afternoon when we passed nearby – (CRAZY! These Sunday opening hours!)
‘English Heritage’ properties: None.
Ferris wheels: None.
Diversions: None. (We decided the 4 miles of public footpath on Wallasea Island – surely the most boring piece of map in existence – followed by 4 miles retracing our steps was a dead end we did not have to walk if we didn’t want to – and we didn’t!)
How we got there and back: We drove – with bikes on the back of the car – from Isleham to the marina on Wallasea Island. We had to park half a mile back in the road because everywhere was ‘private’. We cycled back to Rochford and chained our bikes to a post right by the spot where we had parked our car for the last walk.
At the end, I was very tired and Colin was annoyed because he had missed the pub and the one at the marina ‘only sold keg!’ As I could only walk slowly, I suggested Colin fetch the car and meet me at the pub while I rested at a picnic table. He faffed around for nearly half an hour by which time I was absolutely frozen! In a very bad mood, we drove back to Rochford to retrieve our bikes and have some tea and biscuits. We then drove back to Isleham in Cambridgeshire where we were staying with Paul & Caroline. I didn’t get warm until we were nearly there.

Today is Easter Sunday. There was very little traffic on the road early on, and we had already bought our lunch so we didn’t have to stop at a shop. As a result, we set up the walk and actually started striding out as early as 11.30am – is this a record? However, it was a very boring walk almost entirely along river banks – no sight nor sound of the sea – and in a wiggly line which reminded us of jigsaw puzzles again. Despite the fine weather, it was extremely cold so we had to keep moving. There was one ‘real ale’ pub accessible from our route about four-fifths of the way round, but it wasn’t open when we cycled near it and closed again by the time we reached it on the hike – this put Colin in a very bad mood. Altogether, we didn’t much enjoy today’s walk.
We walked across a field to a restored pond, then turned right down to the river bank again. We had walked along the other side of this same river two days ago, so there was nothing much new to see. At one point we came across a mallard’s nest with ten eggs in it, but apart from the occasional common bird, that was the sum total of our wildlife sightings. There were a few people about because it was a holiday, but they all seemed to be able to walk a lot faster than us. Perhaps it was the cold wind which spurred them on.
At Paglesham Eastend there was a small boatyard where people were banging about repairing their craft, and two hairy dogs got very excited as we passed. We walked round in a big loop, and by the time we reached the point where we could have diverted to the pub it was already gone 3 o’clock – crazy these archaic pub opening hours we still keep to in this idiotic country of ours. It is Easter Sunday, a public holiday for goodness sake!
The way led up across a field to the road which went across a short causeway on to Wallasea Island – the most uninteresting place in the whole of the British Isles! It contains an Ordnance Survey map square which must surely take the prize for being the most boring in the whole system – it’s detail being two parallel ditches from north to south and one track from east to west! The causeway was marginally more interesting because the tide was in and water was lapping the sides of the road.
We passed within a whisker of the car, but because we were tired and wanted to finish the walk quickly we were very good and marched straight past it along the raised river bank adjacent to the caravan site to the marina. Whether we were strictly following ‘the nearest safe path to the coast’ at this point is a bit of a grey area. The path along the river bank anticlockwise round Wallasea Island is not a public right of way. Technically, I suppose we should have walked about a mile on the road to the end of the tarmac, retraced our steps for half a mile, then trespassed along the private road leading to the marina – but based on the fact that Wallasea Island is the most boring place on earth, we took the quickest and easiest route to the marina! There is a public footpath which continues beyond the marina in a clockwise direction round Wallasea Island and suddenly comes to an end nearly four miles further on – that’s eight miles extra walking for nothing! (Looking at the map, it probably once connected to a ferry to Foulness Island before the Army took over the place.) So we remembered additional rule no.2, made up another additional rule about tedious maps and did what we did.
We had already reccied out the ferry at Burnham-on-Crouch – it stopped running at the end of last year! To have walked along the river bank to the first bridging point, then back again the other side would have meant adding nigh on thirty miles to our trek. So we made up another rule about ferries which are marked on maps but don’t exist for real, and finished the walk there and then. We were both tired and cold, and Colin was in a very bad mood because we had missed the pub.

That ended Walk no.62, we shall pick up Walk no.63 next time at Burnham-on-Crouch where the ferry used to come in. I made a tentative suggestion that we go in the pub at the marina because it was open and it would have been nice and warm inside, but I was told in no uncertain terms that it ‘only sold keg!’ As I could only walk slowly, I then suggested that my better half fetch the car and meet me at the pub while I rested at a picnic table. He faffed around for nearly half an hour by which time I was absolutely frozen! In a very bad mood, we drove back to Rochford to retrieve our bikes and have some tea and biscuits. We then drove back to Isleham in Cambridgeshire where we were staying with Paul & Caroline. I didn’t get warm until we were nearly there.

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